Lived Experience I encountered

AKASH

Akash, a first-year medical student, sits in the Anatomy class, meticulously shading every layer of the muscle diagram. His professor, Dr. Sharma, notices the meticulous lines, tracing not bones and tendons, but an invisible web of worry etched on Akash’s face. Despite excelling in academics, he rarely volunteers answers and often takes leave of absence, with his mother calling him frequently. His voice is lost in the chorus of his classmates. In hushed whispers, friends share a rumor about a negative family issue, a burden Akash silently shoulders. Dr. Sharma sees not just an anatomy student, but a young man teetering on the edge of a self-fulfilling prophecy, his reluctance fuelled by unspoken fears inherited from poor parenting.

PRIYA

Priya, a second-year dental student, sits alone in the canteen, meticulously manipulating her pasta instead of the plaster in her preclinical prosthetics lab. Her classmates, a boisterous bunch, call her “bookworm” with good-natured teasing, unaware of the invisible walls Priya builds around herself. In group projects, she shines, but social interactions leave her breathless, a panic attack waiting to happen. Dr. Ravi, her professor, recognizes the silent battles Priya wages. He sees the loneliness in her eyes, a reflection of a childhood spent isolated, the warmth of family replaced by the cold judgment of “different.” Priya’s reluctance becomes a shield against a past that threatened to engulf her, exacerbated by poor parenting.

VIVEK

Vivek, a third year medical student, who once had a whale of time with the life of the hostel, now shuffles through lectures, eyes perpetually bloodshot, fueled by endless cups of cold coffee. He cracks jokes, but the laughter doesn’t reach his eyes. The medicine professor catches him dozing off, not from exhaustion, but from a quiet desperation. Vivek’s relentless pursuit of perfection, the pressure to live up to a legacy built by generations of doctors, weighs him down. His reluctance is a rebellion against the suffocating expectations, a silent cry for permission to breathe, exacerbated by the shortcomings in his upbringing.

TARA

Tara, the final year dental student, sits in the back row, her vibrant kurta clashing with the white coats. She participates, questions, challenges, but with a rebellious glint in her eyes. Dr. Shymala her professor, sees her potential but also the simmering anger beneath the surface. Tara’s defiance stems from a childhood shaped by parental sacrifice, their lives revolving around her “doctor dream.” Her resistance is a desperate attempt to reclaim her own narrative, to choose a path not dictated by duty but by desire, challenging the influence of poor parenting.

NAINA

Naina, a second year medico’s meticulous notes are filled with detailed sketches of buildings, not medical diagrams. She excels in practical exams, but in theory, her mind wanders to distant fields, dreaming of another life. Dr. Kiran her professor, recognizes the architect fire in her eyes, a yearning for a path unacknowledged by her family’s medical legacy. Naina’s reluctance is a whisper of rebellion against a prescribed future, a longing to bloom in a field not paved with stethoscopes and influenced by poor parenting.

The common thread in these 5 lived example is emotion based college avoidance leading to poor attendance, decreased motivation and poor academic performance. Akash, Priya, Vivek, Tara, and Naina each have unique stories, but the undercurrent of emotional distress runs deep. From family burdens and societal expectations to personal desires and dreams, these students grapple with challenges that manifest in college avoidance

Identifying Patterns:

The lived examples highlight patterns like a self-motivation paradox, shifting blame, examination focus, external pressures, and global echoes. These patterns shed light on the multifaceted reasons behind emotional-based college avoidance.

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Parental Dimensions:

The role of parents is critical. While parental support is essential, overwhelming aspirations can contribute to reluctance. The lack of consequences for missing classes further complicates the issue, creating a double-edged sword in parental involvement.

Remedies and the Road Ahead:

To address emotional-based college avoidance, the focus must shift towards bridging the gap between initial motivation and sustained engagement. Interactive learning, faculty introspection, open communication, and holistic development are key remedies. These steps can help create supportive environments that foster genuine learning and student well-being.

Differentiating Truancy from Reluctance:

Distinguishing between truancy and reluctance is crucial for accurate assessment and intervention. Truancy involves pleasure-seeking absences, while reluctance stems from emotional distress. Recognizing this difference guides appropriate support measures.

Reasons for Reluctance and Elation:

Unfulfilled aspirations, lack of enjoyment in learning, external pressures, and cognitive-affective dimensions contribute to reluctance. Understanding these motivations helps tailor interventions and support mechanisms for students.

Visible Patterns and Trigger Points:

Identifying consistent patterns in behavior and recognizing trigger points can assist educators and parents in early intervention. Late arrivals, unauthorized departures, and specific triggers can signal emotional distress.

Moving Forward:

Insights pave the way for early intervention programs, parent and teacher education, mental health support services, career guidance, innovative teaching methods, and research on parental pressure. By addressing the root causes of reluctance, a more supportive educational environment can be fostered.

Altruistic Parents and Unfulfilled Dreams:

The pressure to fulfil parental aspirations can contribute to student reluctance. This dynamic is often fueled by altruistic parents projecting their unfulfilled dreams onto their children.

Cultural Values and Communication Styles

The emphasis on academic achievement, collectivism, and indirect communication in Indian families can create a disconnect between genuine student interests and parental expectations.

Evolution of Parenting Styles:

Modern challenges lead to diverse parenting styles, some of which can be overly protective or controlling. Recognizing and addressing these styles is crucial for students’ independence and resilience.

Helicopter Parenting and Boomerang Kids:

The analysis of helicopter parenting and its consequences highlights the need to foster autonomy and healthy risk-taking in children to avoid creating “Boomerang Kids.”

Impact on Student Well-being:

Unaddressed reluctance poses long-term risks, affecting relationships, emotional regulation, and future education and employment. Proactive support systems are imperative.

Areas for Future Exploration:

Further research and interventions should explore the effectiveness of different parenting styles, strategies for promoting open communication, resources for parent education and mental health, and designing educational structures catering to diverse student needs and motivations.

Conclusion:

Understanding emotional-based college avoidance and its connection to poor parenting is crucial for creating supportive environments that prioritize genuine learning and student well-being. The conversation must continue, and experiences and ideas are welcome in the comments below. Together, let’s explore the human side of college life.