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As we step into February, love is in the air, peaking on 14th February. This month with Valentine’s day, as always, poses a bit of concern for us faculties in the Indian medical and dental college campuses. We will dwell on the nuances of romantic relationships in Indian medical and dental colleges.

The Faculty Perspective

Romantic relationships on campus could pose a significant emotional problem to our students. We, as faculty, are concerned about how these relationships affect the students’ academic and physical well-being. Before we delve into this, we need to understand that every Indian family system is unique, and so is every teenager. A teenager’s brain functioning, genetic temperament, prior exposure, media exposure, and the social, cultural, religious, and economic norms they are exposed to, all contribute to how they manage romantic relationships. The institutional policies and parental policies also play a significant role. Approaching different adolescents as a staff member, a parent, or a fellow student is always a trial and error method.

Here are some Scenario that are commonly encountered in Indian Medical and Dental Colleges (Names and identity changed to protect privacy). The parental reaction and peer reaction are given along with. What would you expect the faculty reaction be?

Scenario 1 – Ravi and Meena:

  • Ravi and Meena, both first-year Medical students, find themselves falling in love. Their relationship blossoms as they spend time studying together, leading to a significant improvement in their grades. However, the constant attention and rumors spreading in the entire campus about their relationship cause them stress. From Ravi’s perspective, he enjoys the companionship but is bothered by the unwanted attention. Meena, on the other hand, feels the same but is more concerned about maintaining their academic performance amidst the rumors.
  • Parental Reaction: Ravi’s parents are proud of his academic improvement but are concerned about the rumors. They remain neutral to the relationship. Meena’s parents are supportive of their relationship but stress the importance of not letting it affect their studies.
  • Peer Reaction: Their friends are happy for them but some start spreading rumors which adds to their stress.

Scenario 2 – Aman and Priya:

  • Aman and Priya are Pre-final year medical students deeply in love. Aman, smitten by Priya, starts spending most of his time with her, neglecting his studies. His grades drop drastically, causing concern among the faculty. From Aman’s perspective, he is happy in the relationship but is stressed about his falling grades. Priya, feeling guilty, is torn between her love for Aman and the negative impact their relationship has on his academics.
  • Parental Reaction: Aman’s parents are upset about his falling grades and want him to focus more on his studies. They are also not happy with the relationship. Priya’s parents are worried about the impact of their relationship on Aman’s academics while being supportive with conditions on academic grounds.
  • Peer Reaction: Their friends are concerned about Aman’s grades and try to help him catch up.

Scenario 3 – Karthik and Anjali:

  • Karthik and Anjali, in their final MBBS, decide to support each other academically while being in a relationship. They start a study group, leading to a positive learning environment and improved grades. However, the pressure to maintain this performance leads to stress. Karthik feels proud of their collective success but is worried about the increasing stress levels. Anjali shares the same feelings but is more concerned about maintaining the balance between their relationship and academics.
  • Parental Reaction: Both sets of parents are proud of their initiative and improved grades but are concerned about their stress levels and societal expectations
  • Peer Reaction: Their friends are inspired by their initiative and join their study group.

Scenario 4 – Vikram and Shreya:

  • Vikram and Shreya, after 2 year-long relationship, decide to part ways mutually in Internship period. The emotional turmoil affects their NEET PG Preparation, Clinical ward rounds and mental health. Vikram finds it hard to concentrate on his academics and clinics, leading to a drop in his performance to such a stage of being ridiculed by senior staff during ward rounds. Shreya, on the other hand, is equally affected but channels her emotions into her NEET PG preparation, leading to improved academic performance.
  • Parental Reaction: Both sets of parents are concerned about their emotional well-being and academic performance.
  • Peer Reaction: Their friends try to support them emotionally and help them focus on their studies.

Scenario 5 – Aditi and Rohan:

  • Aditi and Rohan, both in their second year of MBBS, started dating and eventually entered into a committed relationship. However, by the end of their pre-final year, they realized that their relationship was not as strong as they thought. Aditi wanted to end the relationship, while Rohan wanted to introspect and work on their issues. This disagreement led to stress and negativity between them. The situation became more complicated when their friends intervened. The intervention complicated the issue at hand and resulted in heated arguments. Eventually, Aditi decided to approach the college’s internal grievance and women’s committee with a complaint.
  • Parental Reaction: Aditi parents were confrontational and denied the relationship while Rohan’s parent were defensive and should all proofs of mutual relationship and social media posts. Both were essentially disappointed and worried.
  • Peer Reaction: Friends had mixed reactions. Some took sides, leading to division within the friend group. Few tried to mediate the situation or stay neutral. But they were asked to respect Aditi and Rohan’s privacy and not to exacerbate the situation by spreading rumors or taking sides by both of them

Now let us dwell deep into the topic.

If you are ready, view it as a video below:

The Societal Implications

Our students belong to a system or a society that is always developing. This development may not be progressive or regressive, but change is a constant in the system. This societal system is governed by three types: connection, regulation, and individual autonomy.

The connection refers to the emotional bond between the members of the society – the student, parent, and peers. Regulation refers to the rules and structure by which they are bound to the system or society. Individual autonomy could be emotional, spiritual, intellectual, relational, or academic. So, a student has an emotional bond to the society or system, is bound by societal regulation, and at the same time, and preserves his autonomy in different domains.

Defining Relationships

A relationship is a state of connectedness between people, especially a strong emotional connection. The Indian philosophy sees love in nearly eight different ways, similar to the Greek philosophy. These include deep friendship (filia), playful love (ludes), universal love (agape), longstanding time-tested love (pragma), self-love (philia), family love (storge), obsessive love (mania), and sexual love (eros).

In today’s context, a romantic relationship is better defined as a mutually acknowledged, ongoing, voluntary interaction. Compared to most other peer relationships, these romantic relationships have a distinctive intensity, usually marked by expressions of mutual affection, current or anticipated sexual behavior, or both.

Discussion Components

Today, we will be discussing four important components: the changes in adolescence, the cause and effect of romantic relationships in college, the Indian scenario, and the faculties and mentors’ role in the romantic relationship.

To understand romance or the romantic relationship, we need to understand the changes that an adolescent student undergoes when he or she enters our college. Adolescence is a period of transition from childhood to adulthood, with a loss of presumed innocence. This period is marked by significant physical, emotional, and social changes that impact how adolescents perceive and interact with the world around them.

In the following sections, we will delve deeper into these aspects and discuss how we, as faculty and mentors, can guide our students through this challenging yet exciting phase of their lives.

Romantic relationships in today’s context are better defined as a mutually acknowledged, ongoing, and voluntary interaction between two individuals. Unlike most other peer relationships, these romantic relationships possess a distinctive intensity, usually marked by mutual expressions of affection, current or anticipated sexual behavior, or both. This essay will discuss four important components: changes in adolescence, the cause and effect of romantic relationships in college, the Indian scenario, and the role of faculties and mentors in romantic relationships.

Changes in Adolescence

To understand romance or romantic relationships, we need to comprehend the changes that an adolescent student undergoes when he or she enters college. Adolescence is a period of transition from childhood to adulthood, often marked by a presumed loss of innocence. Here, the child tries to establish a personal sense of individual identity and gradually develops an increasing feeling of self-worth. This period is characterized by several developmental milestones such as the development of identity, transformation of family relationships, development of sexuality, and balancing scholastic or academic achievement.

During this time, adolescents tend to evolve more close relationships with their peers than their family. The interest in romantic relationships also develops, thereby becoming a defining feature of adolescence. These changes do not occur as per a timetable; they slowly happen, and the timing may vary among individuals.

Nature of Friendship and Parent-Adolescent Relationship

There are also changes in the nature of friendship. Older, more mature adolescents have conflicts over private matters, whereas younger adolescents are more concerned about public disrespect and image preservation. Around the same time, they experience a sense of companionship and the need for networking. This companionship in early adolescence precedes the emergence of obsession and intimacy in later adolescence.

Adolescents are more knowledgeable about their friends than their friends’ parents. They feel more responsible and closer to friends than their parents because friends are less controlling, more interpersonally sensitive, and share more empathy. That’s why romantic relationships are often supported by friends rather than parents. Adolescents at this stage resolve conflicts by negotiation or disengagement, not by engagement.

In contrast, the parent-adolescent relationship is an imbalance of power, with parents having too much power. This imbalance often leads to teens receiving advice and sermons. On the other hand, friendship is a balance of power, a mutual power balance, and equal exchange.

Romantic Relationships in the 21st Century

Romantic relationships in previous eras were more about mate selection or companionship, developing as a biological and ritualistic tendency. It was a raw human emotion. However, in the 21st century, this is no longer a biological or ritualistic tendency but an enforced societal, social media, and cultural change. In the 21st century, romantic relationships have evolved significantly. They are no longer purely biological or ritualistic but are enforced by societal norms, social media, and cultural changes. This shift has led to an imbalance between biological and social constructs, with the latter gaining an edge due to excessive social media exposure. This imbalance is the root cause of several problems in how romantic relationships evolve, especially in school and college campuses.

The Course of Romantic Relationships in Adolescence

Romantic relationships in adolescence undergo a series of changes. In early adolescence (around 12 to 14 years of age), the interest in romantic relationships is more about socializing or interacting with the opposite gender, which usually lasts for a few weeks. In middle adolescence (15 to 17 years), romantic relationships last for a few months and are characterized by one-to-one dyadic relationships. In late adolescence, long-term romantic relationships emerge, wherein the time period is greater than about a year.

The Five Phases of Adolescent Romantic Relationships

Adolescent romantic relationships typically progress through five phases. The first is the euphoric stage, where there is an attraction towards a particular individual of the opposite gender. This attraction slowly matures into an obsession, leading to early attachment and a status begins. This changes into an affection or a crisis stage, which then matures into a bonding or deep attachment. It’s important to identify the stage of the relationship because the response as a faculty should correlate with this stage.

The General Course of Romantic Relationships in Colleges

In colleges, romantic relationships often start when two individuals or a group of individuals get into an interaction. This happens more in medical and dental colleges due to the higher chance of interaction through micro-teaching, ward rounds, and lab interactions. The nature of the youth and their personal interest also play a significant role in these relationships.

The Indian Scenario

In the Indian scenario, people thought that Indian society is immune to romantic relationships or puppy love or campus love. However, literature shows different things. It’s said that romantic relationships have a positive impact on the level of motivation, academic motivation of the student, moderate effect on the level of anxiety, and no effect on time management. This is perceived as an individual stressor in medical colleges. Overall, about 40% of students say that they are involved in a romantic relationship, and this involvement often leads to stress that slowly progresses over the semesters or the period of years in college

Peer Influence and Social Media

Peer influence plays a crucial role in shaping romantic relationships among college students. Studies suggest that a significant percentage of males discuss infatuation with their peers or friends, indicating the strong influence peers have on romantic relationships. In addition to peer influence, social media has emerged as a powerful factor shaping these relationships. In at least half the cases, social media and college peers are the single most important criteria in college romantic relationships.

Awareness and Reactions

Faculties play a pivotal role in managing the academic environment, and their awareness of the breadth and depth of romantic relationships among students is crucial. Females are generally more aware of the negative impact of romantic relationships and infatuation, understanding that it could be a distraction in academics. On the other hand, a significant percentage of males have experienced romantic relationships and infatuation causing distraction in learning.

Impact on Academic Performance

Romantic relationships can have a profound impact on academic performance. A significant number of students lose interest in studying while in an active romantic relationship. About one in five students skip classes due to romantic relationships and infatuation. Furthermore, a considerable number of males and females confess that they have low academic performance due to these relationships. About a third experience stress due to romantic relationships, but very few report this to their parents because they don’t confide in them.

Parental Reaction

When parents or teachers become aware of a romantic relationship, their initial reaction is often denial, followed by anger. This anger is directed towards their child for indulging in such relationships. This phase is often followed by depression, during which they start to bargain with their children, especially daughters, to quit the romantic relationship. If the relationship survives these phases, parents may eventually move into acceptance. However, these phases are transient, and parents may oscillate between different reactions.

In subsequent phases, parents may resort to punitive actions such as cutting access to phones, the internet, and restricting movement. They often try to condemn and correct the student, especially their daughters. This period is characterized by a high degree of emotional blackmail, and the child is often viewed with suspicion in the future.

The Role of Faculty Members

Faculty members play a pivotal role in managing the academic environment, and their awareness of the breadth and depth of romantic relationships among students is crucial. When a student is experiencing heartbreak, the mentor should not jump into the situation but may give a patient listening. They should validate their emotions, not being supportive or discouraging, but hear and reply in a positive tone. They should help them with their decision, not interfering, and help them to stay connected with reality, not with partners.

Faculty members should encourage healthy social media habits, try to maintain a positive mental health, and help students to maintain a routine. If a student shows anxious or depressive symptoms, they should refer them to a mental health professional. Faculty members may help students to get out of their emotions, help to rebuild self-esteem, and help them to identify support systems, including parental support. They should avoid relating or talking about the relationship and should offer advice or counselling only if students seek help for it.

Maintaining Personal and Professional Boundaries

Faculty members should maintain a balance between personal and professional boundaries. They should not discount students’ feelings, not exaggerate their feelings, and do not put their old romantic stories. They should accept that the present generation will have their own experiences and perspectives on romantic relationships.

Based on the discussion, the faculty reaction for the scenarios listed above would/should preferably be (from my personal perspective!)

As a faculty member, it’s important to approach these situations with understanding, empathy, and professionalism. Here’s how a faculty member might respond to each scenario:

  1. Scenario 1 – Ravi and Meena: The faculty could acknowledge their academic improvement and suggest ways to handle the stress caused by rumors. They could also organize workshops on handling peer pressure and stress management.
  2. Scenario 2 – Aman and Priya: The faculty could have a one-on-one conversation with Aman about the importance of balancing personal life and academics. They could also provide resources for academic support and stress management.
  3. Scenario 3 – Karthik and Anjali: The faculty could praise their initiative and suggest ways to manage the stress of maintaining high performance. They could also encourage other students to form study groups.
  4. Scenario 4 – Vikram and Shreya: The faculty could provide emotional support and counseling services to help them cope with their emotional turmoil. They could also suggest ways to focus on their studies during this difficult time.
  5. Scenario 5 Aditi and Rohan: The faculty, particularly the committee approached by Aditi, should handle the situation with sensitivity and confidentiality. They should arrange a meeting with Aditi to understand her concerns and feelings. They should also speak with Rohan, ensuring his perspective is heard. The faculty should remind both Aditi and Rohan about the resources available to them, such as counselling services. They should also ensure that this personal matter does not affect their academic performance or mental health. If there is no transgression of individual rights, violation or privacy and no complaints pressed, the matter should be laid to rest. If there is a transgression of individual rights, violation or privacy and complaints lodged, action need to be taken as per institutional policies. The faculty should strive to create an environment where all students feel safe and supported

In all scenarios, the faculty should maintain confidentiality and respect the students’ personal lives while ensuring their academic success. They should also involve parents as needed and provide resources for additional support such as counselling services. Remember, every student is unique and may require different types of support. It’s important to tailor the approach based on the individual student’s needs.

Conclusion

Faculty members play a crucial role in managing romantic relationships among college students. They should maintain a balance between personal and professional boundaries, provide support when needed, and ensure that these relationships do not negatively impact students’ academic performance. As George Bernard Shaw once said, “First love is only a little foolishness and a lot of curiosity.” As faculties, we should accept that the present generation will have their own experiences and perspectives on romantic relationships.

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